Soon To Be Forgotten

I haven’t been to the cafeteria for quite some time now. *sigh* There ain’t anything much there to shout about. Perhaps that is just the place where students hang out & catch up with their friends for the day. I could rarely settle in comfortably with the group of Chinese in this uni; can’t seem to hold a proper conversation with them. Talking about food, we would usually cook dinner in the room, & sometimes lunch too. If not, I will usually have bread or instant noodles. Thus, the cafeteria isn’t one of MY stops.

Recently, my room mate told me that she had a chat with some of the Chinese, & I happened to be one of the subjects. They were wondering about my existence in this uni. One of them commented, “If you had not mentioned her, I would have thought that she is non-existent in this place already!” Wow, I thought. Such truth-- pierced through me like a spear.

That made me wondered…again. (Yeah, I am ALWAYS wondering) “Why am I so transparent among them? Is it because I don’t like them? Or is it because I just am shying away from them?” This sounds kinda sad. But what can I do? I really don’t know, & somehow wish that I can run away from this biting reality.