Let Go… ( Sunday, 21 May 2005)‘Don’t hold on; allow the departure - with a blessing!’ taken from TouchPoints for WomenLetting go of things are SO difficult!!! Argh. How long will it really take me to learn my lesson of letting go and letting God? I have been in the same ‘zone’ for the past erm…one year?? And I just never moved on, have I? *sigh* When it comes to relationships, I struggle letting go (I have no idea why). It just stuck me today that Li Ping is also leaving (next week!!) for the Netherlands for a rough 3 years. In addition to that, Chris will be leaving for the US in 3 months time. What will become of the CG? Wait…what CG? Bummer.
PricelessKin Hup sent a sms today stating he is leaving Kuantan already. So quick? ‘Well, Ruth Wong, let go!’ Guang’s whisper ‘haunts’ me up ‘til today. Ergh. Friendship is priceless, Kin Hup states. *sigh* I SO have to agree with that. Let me see, now how many of my friends are leaving this year & how many will return? Forget it. If I start to list all the names down, it would be never-ending...and I will end up drowning in this stupid attitude. Double argh.
*clears throat* On the other hand, I had a surprise visit today. Wei Ling dropped by PJ Trinity for the Praise & Worship service. I wasn’t really expecting it, but she did mention that she is interested in coming over when Irene & I met up with her yesterday. She is still the same ole Wei Ling. Nothing very different about her. Heh.
I received a call from a friend today, & he told me something that kinda shocked me too. His whole family knows who Ruth is now. * eyes bulges * What happened man…?? Apparently, he told his dad that a friend of his will be going over to their house to sleep over for a night as they will be leaving for a camp the day after that. His dad asked in return, “Is it Ruth?” Alamak…terkenalnya nama aku sekarang. The person sleeping over is DEFINITELY not me la. My hand phone number just appeared often enough on the bill for smses and calls, causing curiosity within the family to find out who the receiver of the calls is. Bah. Now that they know who I am, I am really pai-sè. Cis-cis.
Oh well, I am enjoying every single bit of my one week break. It is time to pack & get back to uni tomorrow. I can’t wait to get back although there is an assignment waiting for my friends & I to complete. Kekeke…the adventure in Kuantan continuous!
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A Good Friend is Like a Jewel (19 May 2005)‘Some friendships are fleeting, and some are lasting. True friendships are glued togetherwith bonds of loyalty and commitment. They remain intact, despite changing external circumstances’- taken from TouchPoints for Women…(1 Samuel 18:3)People whom we can call friends are tough to find, what more friends whom we could really gel with and do crazy things together. At times, when we are with good friends, there is no need for words, but just the knowledge of each other’s presence. I am indeed thankful to God for blessing me with great friends for these 21 years on earth.
I know that everyone will have to come to a stage where all of his or her friends will slowly leave for studies or work one by one. It is only a matter of time. You can call me a coward for disliking this fact of life. A person such as I find it difficult to accept facts like these, lagi-lagi if it deals with relationships with people, especially friends. Trying to let go after JS04 was tough enough & I thought I have learnt well how to deal with such situations, but no.
I went through many rough times when I had to go to Kuantan to study. I found it hard to fit in, I did not really have friends but those from JS04 (thank God I went for JS), plus I felt just like a visitor to Kuantan Wesley. However, the Lord has been gracious & blessed me with other friends (most of them are uncles and aunties from church) who surrounded me with great care & concern; I do not feel as lost as I first felt. I also found a very good friend (doctor & MYF counselor) whom I could call my best friend over in Kuantan.
We have been of great encouragement to each other. Really. We went for outdoor activities together such as hiking up the Sungai Lembing hill twice (with different groups of people at both times) and we made a trip to the Panching waterfalls recently. Mamak sessions were part of the activities for the weekends, where I am always out in Kuantan. Our group of friends is practically the same too, so Sunday lunch is a routine we never miss. I attend the same cell group too, thus there were opportunities for more chats and laughs. I have to thank Kelvin Goh for dragging me along to that CG which he attends just as well. Phone calls were bonuses & we can just chat for more than half an hour on the hand phone...hehehe. Basically, we share pretty similar passion for the outdoors. I really thank God for such a friend.
At present, I am finding it tough trying to accept the fact that he is leaving for his postgraduate studies. *sigh* …*pause* (Argh…Kin Hup just called & we had a chat for 25+minutes!!! How la will I not miss this friend?? Boo-hoo…) This is making things even harder to leave…if I did not hear from him after the last time we met last Sunday, I wouldn’t have felt SO heavy-hearted. BUMMER.
I have never had a friend so close to me(who is of so many years gap), whom I could look up to…well, erm…besides people like Noel J, Wai Yin & aunty Yim Chee (plus some others too). Friendship does not see age gap as a barrier to have fun, shower each pther with concern & care, and to learn from each other. I really can’t describe how grateful I am for this particular friend…*sigh* By the time he actually returns to work in Kuantan again (that would be in 4 years time), I would have left already, either back to work in KL or perhaps to wherever the Lord calls me to. By that time also, I suppose he would have gotten married, & as he is thinking about, perhaps he would bring his dad over to stay with him over in Kuantan too. Things would have changed tremendously by that time.
A friend is like a jewel, hard to find, difficult to let go of it, but easily lost if not cherished. This friend is indeed a jewel; one I would cherish the friendship as long as I live. *smiles with gratitude*
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Family reunion? I rather not have…*shrugs* (Monday, 16 May 2005)I am very glad to be able to go home after a month of being here, in uni. I sat for my last mid-semester paper, OOP2 today. The other paper, DSA2, took place last week, on Wednesday. I’m pretty thrilled that the exam is over already! *phew* Praise the Lord for seeing me through the exam period. Actually, I am also a ‘bo-jai-si’ person la. I went to Sungai Lembing the weekend before my OOP2 hands-on test & DSA2 mid-semester exam, and to Panching Waterfalls with Kin Hup, Kuan, Jeri, Alfred & Kevin on the Saturday before my mid-semester OOP2 exam. Really ‘bo-jai-si’ man.
After the exam, I went back with the rest of my course mates in Joey’s car. We arrived around 3.30pm in KL. My birthday dinner was schedule to be at 7.30pm…just the family with my uncles and aunts- a simple one. The meal was good *yum yum* I thank God for the supportive family. After dinner, a few of us went over to an aunt’s house for coffee and chitchat. When it comes to family chats, I rather sit on the fence and not side anyone.
Too much just hit me personally when the whole ‘discussion’ was on. I really felt like running away from the talk. The issues that blew on me: the role of the tongue & how it kills and makes peace, our influences towards each other within the family, our role as Christians in the family, letting go of the past, priorities, forgiveness, the importance of family ties, & many, many more! It brings to mind on my OOP2 studies on method overloading. I felt just like that; overloaded.
Now that I am 21 years old, I reckon they felt that it was necessary that I know some of the hidden secrets of the family. I really did not want to know too much of the past. What use would it be if I know anyways? They said I should listen & learn the moral of the stories they relate to me. Bah. Many stories of the past came out this day. Most were not pleasing to the ears, really.
I could see the point of view of my non-Christian relatives clearer now. They can’t see the goodness in a Christian, why then would they want to become one? Wow, that really hit me….real badly too. What we say to each other really matters. They have been keeping in their minds the not-so-good things that other relatives have done to them for ages! Hatred? It truly is. Forgiveness, they can’t really do so unless the other party apologizes. *sigh* Despite the fact that certain relatives have left the earth, they are still keeping in their minds what those people have done to them! Argh…what is this man???
I felt terribly pressured sitting in the midst of that heated discussion. Although I wasn’t directly involved, sitting there listening to the issues brought up was bad enough. When KH sms-ed me to ask of my day, all I could really say was ‘I am having a very stressful day’. He told me I could give him a call if I need to distress, but I felt that all I needed was time to digest all that I have heard. Yes, there is much to learn form all those situations, which they relate to me. But…that was suppose to be my birthday, can’t they let me go for one day?? Bummer. I woke up early for the exam & didn’t sleep on the way back, was awake until dinner time & I had to stay up & make myself look alive and interested in the talk going on. Hu-hu-hu…what a day; what a birthday…
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Changes (14 May 2005)Psalm 102:25-27
Of old you laid the foundation of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands. They will perish, but you will remain; they will all wear out like a garment. You will change them like a robe, and they will pass away, but you are the same, and your years have no end.Everything else will change except for GOD; people will have to move on, situations will change, & even our circle of friends either will grow or reduce. *sigh* I reckon I can’t accept changes that easily.
Lately, just too many things are taking place. This is the phase where ‘when God moves, we have to run’. I do feel a little trapped in this phase at times, & I feel lost too. Bummer. Nevertheless, it is at such times when things start to get exciting, & there is always a twist in most of the situations the Lord puts me through. Nothing seems predictable, oh yes, nothing.
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Panching Waterfalls (Saturday, 14 May 2005)
I came over to Abishua’s house yesterday just like what I usually do during weekends. For the first time in my uni life, I didn’t have to wait for the bus! I came down at the right time when the bus was approaching the bus stop. *hurrah*
Jeri’s mum gave me a lift from town as they were in town getting Jeri’s things ready before he leaves for KL on 21 May. This weekend will be a very packed one!
I woke up early in the morning at 7.30am to do my QT & to wait for Kin Hup to pick me up to get to Panching Waterfalls as planned. I wasn’t too sure if the plan was actually on, as he wasn’t feeling well for the past week…was and is still having a terrible cough. The confirmation call came around 8.40am, so I quickly packed the necessary & went off when he came. Jeri, Kevin & Alfred were all in the car already. *yay* I was pretty excited as it would be my first time to this place.
The drizzle didn’t stop us from continuing our journey to the waterfalls. I actually had a slight fear of going there ‘cause some students form my uni actually perished there. That place can be quite dangerous. The fear was there, but I still went ahead…*grins* Of course, I did pray for His protection before we actually leave for that place…
We had to pay RM1 for admission into that place. Cis-cis. We didn’t stop at the usual ‘play’ area. In fact, we hiked up further into the woods & higher up too. It was definitely cleaner at the higher part of the waterfall. The place is BEA-u-ti-FUL! We didn’t hike up to the peak…oh no…but that place where we stopped was good enough, with proper privacy (as most people would just stop at the first pool). Me likey.
We spent about 2 hours there, having communion i.e. breaking of bread (Mabel & Fern, I miss those times when we had maggi mee communion) for breakfast…teeheehee & dipping in the pool. Apparently, the tasty bread can’t be found anywhere else but in Kuala Terengganu. *yummy* The younger ones went further down the stream to have fun, while I hug around with Kuan & Kin Hup. Only Kuan & I went dipping away…well, Kuan was the one who enjoyed most, I reckon. I didn’t get my whole body wet but he did. Shiok sendiri…hehe… To think that doctors are boring people who just know how to work and not play; that perception of doctors are SO wrong. LOL. Kin Hup didn’t get himself wet as he was having a terrible cough & he had to lead worship the next day too.
I really enjoyed my time there. The atmosphere was very nice to just relax & get away from the hustle and bustle of the city (although Kuantan isn’t much of a hustle & bustle of compared to KL). We rushed back to town as Kin Hup had an emergency call form the hospital and needed to perform a certain surgery, I think. So, Kuan took us for lunch & sent all of us back.
I didn’t really rest as I had a practice for Sunday service’s worship at 4 pm. I was one of the back-up singers along with Phoebe, Abi’s sister. It was a choice of playing the electric guitar or singing. I rather sing. Well, I any case, Kin Hup needed back-up singers more than he needs a guitarist…and I rarely play the electric guitar anyways! I had fun practicing, but it was tiring la…the songs weren’t exactly easy to follow & Jessel just loves to play in high keys. Hai-yo…
No time for rest. When we arrived home, we had to take our baths and head to church for MYF. They planned for a farewell party for Jeri & Kin Hup, and also a birthday celebration for Aunty Lay Wah & Aunty Shirley, the counselors for MYF. I find that Kuantan Wesley MYF is warmer in this sense. At least they have a party for you in appreciation of your service before you actually leave. We had dinner & at that point I noticed that I could actually gel better with the guys at MYF instead of the girls. *sigh* We had a round of ‘saying our last words’ to both the people leaving after dinner & I found that really nice.
Fellowship didn’t end after MYF. Abi, Phoebe, Ben, Javern & I went in Jeri’s car to go for supper at Taj. Around 15 of us went for mamak. Jianwei drove the Avanza, so more people could come along. Although I was excessively tired to talk much and eat, I enjoyed myself nonetheless. The day was good, although packed to the brim *smiles*
