Love

Faith

wergurl84@hotmail.comI lack faith of late. *sigh* Too many things are happening in my life. Seems too 'exciting'. Yet, I feell that I am not trusting the Lord to bring me to greener pastures each day as I walk with Him.

Ah well...I just finished my first paper for my finals: Web Application Development. Well, I know most of the answers, but somehow, I can't seem to recall how to write the syntax to retrieve data from the database and display it onto HTML format. *sigh* Totally sad. That question costs 8 marks! Now, Im not sure if i can get at elast 4-5 marks for the amount that I could recall.

I've done all I could. I pray that I'll be able to do well in the next 3 papers next week. As for now, all I could do is to study & enjoy the weekend at Abi's house. Will be leaving for CG later...oh, I can't wait to get out again!


Faith

Perhaps debating is one of my callings…?

Thursday, 20 April 2006, 11:35 pm

It’s been at least half a year since I’ve really debated; exclude the Rector Cup debates. I’ve been called to participate in the Piala Sultan Zainal Abidin debate competition at UiTM Dungun, Terengganu, from the 12^th-15^th of May 2006.

Almost all the debaters from my uni will be going. *sigh* I thought the month of May would be a month of rest & time for myself. Seems not. I’ve made the decision to take part after all, since I’ll be in Kuantan already on the 7^th of May... just got back from the tour to universities up north.

The tour to different local universities up north will begin on the 4^th of May until the 7^th. It would be pretty interesting, although I ain’t really looking forward to it as I will be the only Chinese & non-Muslim in the group of 25 students. We will be hitting about 5 states: Perak, Kedah, Pualu Pinang, Kelantan & Terengganu. In total, tentatively, we’ll be visiting UPSI, Tanjung Malim Polytechnic, USM Penang, UUM Perlis, KUKUM Perlis, USM Kelantan, & lastly KUSTEM Terengganu. It will be pretty tiring, I reckon. Bah.

After that, training for the debate competition will commence on the 8^th of May and end on the 11^th. *sigh* Directly after that, we’ll leave for Dungun, Terengganu, and supposedly be back in Kuantan on the 15^th of May. Ahhhh…!!! I would wanna be home on my birthday!!!

However, I was just thinking that maybe I’ll stay back in Dungun, or go up to KT/ KB for 2 days, before meeting up with KHup that weekend (18^th of May-20^th or 21^st of May) itself. It’s just a plan… but seriously, I’m not sure whether I’ll be able to stay back etc. Where will I bunk over and where can I go for the 2 days? KHup’s exams end on the 17^th, so I won’t be able to disturb him till the weekend. Oh well. *shrugs* Time will tell.

As for now, I better concentrate on my finals! 3.5 GPA is the minimum!!!

Purpose Driven Life (20 April 2006, 1:53 am)

I am reminded that the important thing is to fulfill God’s eternal purposes regardless of where I live or work or whom I marry. The Bible says in Proverbs 19:21, “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.”

Ah…I’ve finally gotten down to writing down my purpose in life. It may not be the perfect one, but this is my first draft of what I would hope to see taking place in this life that the Lord has given me.

My life purpose:

My life purpose is to love the LORD with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, and keep Him as my focus & destination; be a God-fearing and loving person; a light in the dark; a word of life for the lost and lonely; a servant-leader who’s humble and genuine; being the Jesus some may ever see…my family, friends, community, and serving the church to which I’m called to with faithfulness, joy, and humility.

So far, I am pleased with this purpose-statement. I reckon, with more prayer and experiences in life, my purpose shall be clearer. ‘Focus’ is the word for the week…

Pics of Abigail

As if she's my daughter...ahahaha...but she's a total darling la. Just like Joel aka Jojo, my nephew. Having her around brings loads of joy ;) I don't have any recent pictures of her, but I'll upload it when I get some...kekeke...


Abigail, age 5 (year 2002)
















Abigail, age 6
















Abigail (taken during her 7th birthday... now she's 9)

More of Abigail...

Seriously, nothing beats sitting down with a cup of ice-coffee and listening to Abigail crack hilarious comments. It’s another night of laughter; this time, at Hai Peng kopitiam. No doubt, Miss Wong shook the kopitiam with laughter (again). Well, in fact, our table was rocking with laughter from 5 people! Who can resist that darling?? *awww…*

I have no idea what brought up the subject of being shy. Abigail was asked to impersonate several people when they are shy. Just to name a few (actually, not a few, but almost all the close friends in church!), all her family members, Uncle Peter, Aunty Alline, Javen, Jesssel, Aunty Evelyn, Uncle Jeff, Nichol, Jianwei, Enwei, and Rose-Mary. She could even mimic pastor when pastor gives out the Holy Communion! That darling memorized the words said and could even say it out with similar expressions that pastor has when she gives out the communion! *rolls off the seat laughing* SO real! Kids- they really do and say the darnest things.

Being here, at the home of the Tans, makes me want to stay even longer. It touched my heart when Uncle Francis said I could stay however long I want, to the extent of ‘don’t need to go back also can’. *awww…* I was supposed to head back to uni as usual on Sunday, but I stayed…haha…just for 2 more night, since my room-mate ain’t back from KL yet, and it’s just SO quiet in the room alone. Teeheee….not that I can’t stand being alone, but it’s boring to be alone without anyone to talk to for a week. Gah. Thus, I stayed at ‘home’ since Thursday night and will be heading back to uni tomorrow night. My first paper for finals begins this Friday! *eeekkkk….*

It just feels strange & weird. I’ll be leaving for uni for just 2 nights, and then I’ll be heading ‘home’ again on Friday night for the weekend as usual. *sigh* the traveling. Oh, like I’m SO used to it. It doesn’t seem to affect me anymore. Traveling is fun…or is it not?...

Purpose in Life...?

15 April 2006, 12.29am

What is my purpose in life? What is my mission on this earth? What has God planned for me?

Lately, I’ve been questioning myself & God a lot concerning the plans He has for my life. Strange, but I’ll start to wonder why am I here on earth & why am I placed in Kuantan for this 3 years? One may ask, “Now only start to question ar?”, but I feel that it isn’t too late to start thinking of such stuff. Bah.

Holy Week seems to pass so quickly. I confess that I have not taken the initiative to sit down and be still before the Lord to hear His voice. *sigh* Yet, I am pretty convinced that He is asking me to look into the issue on surrendering my all to Him. I’ve been getting loads of ‘knocking’ on my mind to commit my day to Him, my worries, my finals, my relationships, etc.

In today’s Good Friday service, the 7^th word (sentence) that Jesus said before He breathed His last was “Father, into Your hands I commit my Spirit.” The question is: Have I committed my Spirit to Him? Am I willing to give up my ‘grip’ in things & trust the Lord to take charge and guide me in all that I go through?

Believe it or not, the phrase “Let go, let God” comes to mind once again! It has been more than a year, I reckon, since that phrase was firstly introduced to me through a play by the Footstools group, who performed in Kuantan Wesley one fine Sunday… I think 1 ½ years ago! Wow. Miss Wong never did learn to put that into practice eh? If she has had, that phrase wouldn’t be found troubling her mind every now and then! Bummer.

Uncertainties. More uncertainties. I just worry too much. What did the Lord say ‘bout worrying?? *sigh*

“Therefore, I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat, what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin. But, seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” ~ Matthew 6:25-34

The song ‘Trust His heart’ came to mind during service just now, reminding me to trust in His ways, for He holds my future in his hands and nothing is too hard for Him.

All things work for our good
Though sometimes we can’t see how they could
Struggles that break our heart in two
Sometimes blind us to the Truth

Our Father knows what’s best for us
His ways are not our own
So when your pathways grow dim
And you just can’t see Him
Remember you’re never alone

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So if you don’t understand
If you don’t see His plan
If you can’t trace His hand
Trust His heart

It is never too late to turn back to the Lord and trust in His ways. My soul rejoices in the risen, loving, full of grace God.

Updates

My finals are up in a week's time. I've been finding it SO difficult to concentrate and focus on what I am supposed to do. *sigh* Am now at Abi's house. It's just great to have a family here. I came out yesterday when my coursemates decided to get out of uni for a break. Haha. Getting stuck in the hostel room is one of the most boring thing on earth.

We went shopping at Berjaya Megamall Kuantan & Chen got herself a bag, while Joey bought her pants. I thought I was the only person feeling bored, but nope, apparently, they felt just as bored. After walking around for several hours, I got back to the house & watched korean dramas with the girls. Teehee... didn't study til late night after chatting on the hp. Geeheehee...I had an interesting dose of nonsense from the conversation. I suppose my brain absorbs a lil better after midnight. Gah. I ended up sleeping at about 5 in the morning. Eekk...

Got my hair trimmed today & spent the entire day in front of the tv. Will be heading off to church for the Good Friday service soon. Oh, what a weekend! Slacker...

Home is where the heart is

*YAY* At last, I'm back home. Ah...it's SO wonderful to be back home! Am now at my aunt's place, at my cousin's work station..kekeke...seems like I won't be able to get off the computer once I start to use it. Gah. I'm kinda hooked to the comp! If Lazarus, my computer, ever dies, huhuhu...I'd be devastated!!

This time around, I'll be staying in town slightly longer: 4 days in total, compared to the usual 2+ days (just the weekend). My aim for these couple of days:
1) make sure I get my share of ham and sausages! (just feel like having those),
2) get a prezzie for a friend,
3) send out Mabel's WAY overdued birthday gift (yes, Mabel, the gift is on its way),
4) register my maxis line
5) meet up with my friends
6) watch a movie with Theng
Well, I'm sure there're still loads of stuff I would like to do in these couple of days. Am no super-woman, but would love to do a one-leg-kick thingy during my time back home....ahahaha..

Oh, home is indeed where the heart is. I really thank God for His abundant blessings and His faithfulness. :)

Wonderful gifts I received for this year...

I'm blessed. To give is better than to receive. However, if a person gives, I will have to learn to receive it with grace.

Isn't this a nice pic?














Received these as a christmas (2005) gift...a belated one














And these are the latest additions!

I love Abigail!

She's one of the funniest 9 year old I have ever met! Abigail Tan, youngest sister of Abishua. I sleep with her in the same room on some weekends, and oh boy, she is highly entertaining!

We went for tea at Secret Recipe last Sunday, with Abishua's dad, uncle Francis, and his mum, aunty Rosalind. They're kinda like my foster parents here, in Kuantan. I've been staying with them for almost 2 years now. We had a VERY interesting conversation- all about Abigail. Perhaps it won't be so funny now, when I write it down. But the actual scenario was totally amusing to the point where I can't even finish up my cake in peace!

Uncle Francis asked Abigail a lot of questions. For a 9 year old to answer so confidently, with practically a straight face, wow, I'm amazed.

UF: Abigail, how old would you want to get married? 17?
Gail: No. Too early.
UF: 21?
Gail: Still early.
UF: then at what age you would want to get married?
Gail: 28!

*UF's eyes nearly popped out with surprise. I was laughing SO hard, I nearly fell off my chair*

UF: How many children would you want to have?
Gail: 2 (she said confidently)
UF: Oh. Boy or girl?
Gail: 1 boy, 1 girl
UF: Which one first?
Gail: wait ar...i-ni mi-ni my-ni more. ...found a dinosaur...i-ni mi-ni my-ni more! Boy first!

*If it is not the fact that we were at Secret Recipe, I would have rolled on the floor laughing*

The best part was when Gail tried to match make me with some guy...haha. Uncle Francis was saying that by the time Abigail grows up, she'll be the one staying over at my house during the weekends. Perhaps, if I have my own children at that time, my children would have to sleep in my room (like how Abishua sleeps in their room each weekend to offer his room to me) and Abigail will sleep in my children's room! Gollywog hog...!

Gail 'prophesied' with great excitement that I will have 4 children in the future. *eyes terbeliak* she even said with gleee that I shall name them: Abishua, Tiffanie, Phoebe, and Abigail!! Gosh...Secret Recipe nearly crumbled into bits at that point of time!

Ruth: Abigail, if I were to have 4 children, and if I were to name them after the 4 of you, all 4 of you must have made such a great impact in my life that i would want to name my children after you guys!

She just laughed. Uncle Francis and aunty rosalind can't contain the laughter either.

Ruth: ...and if I were to name them after you all, that would mean I have to marry a Tan!

Oh gosh...names came pouring out after that *pauses*

Gail: Jessel!
Ruth: *eyes terbeliak again* Oh no no no!!!
UF: Cannot, Jessel is taken!
Gail: Kuan! Chan!
Ruth: *smacks forehead* Aiyoyo...they're not Tan what. And wait, I won't marry your brother!

Sigh. Kids DO say the darnest things! I love Abigail. What would life be witout a person like her? So mak-nenek. No wonder the parents sayng her SO much. Who can resist it? there were much more said, but it'll take a VERY long time to record it all down. These things shall remain in my memory forever man!

Last weekend (31 March-2 April) part 2

Ergh...I couldn't sleep the whole night!!! Somehow I felt SO disturbed...kept tossing & turning; slept in all sorts of positions but nothing seemed to help! Argh. I turned in at bout 2+am after the movie, but as soonas I close my eyes, work seemed to flow past my mind. Worst still, the subject that invaded my mind was Web Application Development, where i just had my hands on test (HOT)! The HOT question kept scrolling across my mind!!! ARGH!!! I hated it. The test was alright. I could do it properly, but why was my mind so focused on that til I couldn't sleep??!!

I even went downstair to the couch to sleep, but I just can't sleep! Tried closing my eyes and all, but nope, didn't work. I went back upstairs to Abi's room where I slept for the weekend, and decided to do my QT at 4.15 am. Well, to be more precise, I kinda had my 40 winks every one hour...I slept at 2+am, woke up at 3.15am, tried sleeping again, woke up at 4.30am, tried sleeping again, and woke up again...bah! I finally forced myself to sleep around 5+am cos I had to wake up at 7.30am to get to the beach!! Khup said he'll come over around 8.30am...bummer.

Yeah, he was really happy cos he had such a nice sleep, but I didn't. Felt a lil wonky, cranky and dizzy in the morning. *sigh* Miss Wong needs adequate hours of sleep! It wasn't becauseI was too excited to go to the beach. Nope, nothing like that. Aunty Rosalind claims that it was the coffee. But... miss Wong never had problems with coffee! in fact, miss Wong gets sleepy after drinking coffee and sleeps really well after a cup of coffee.... perhaps it's the fact that it's Ipoh's original coffee..bleagh. I'm not gonna have that anymore. Once bitten, forever shy!

We bought McD's breakfast and headed off to Bay 3... had to hike through a jungle to get to Bay3, a slightly more quiet bay, compared to Bay 1 & 2, where we usually go. Bay 3 isn't cleaner, but definately quiter. A good place to just relax and having a personal quiet retreat there isn't a bad idea! Teeheehee... we had our breakfast, chat, catch up with one another, relaxed, and headed off for lunch after that. Nice.

It was no surprise that Bah Kut Teh was on the list for lunch suggestions. He didn't have his 'dose' of pork for quite some time (not including his trip to KL, whereby I think he ate a lot of porly stuff) as Kota Bahru doesn't offer much non-halal products. Lunch was kinda rushed as I had to get back to uni to welcome the minister of higher education at 2.15pm (and KHup had to leave for KB again as well cos he ws on call on Sunday). *sigh* So much for a good lunch.

I was really tired and sleepy, but I had to drive to uni for the event...took aunty Rosalind's car and drove at a horrible speed of 120km/h as I was really late. Bah. The minister wasn't on time la. He only arrived at 4pm!!! Sheesh. If I knew he'll be late, I need not rush through lunch, and get KHup to rush as well! Oh well, minister what...big shot.

After the entire event, which ended around 6pm, I drove back to Abi's house and bleagh, I was pretty much 'brain dead' by then. However, I turned in only at 12 am as I fear I will wake up again in the middle of the night if I were to sleep early...gah.

The day was exciting. I won't enclose further details...teeheehee...

Last weekend (31 March-2 April)

Bummer. The line in my room is SO horrible, I can't even get into any websites! Thankfully there's the library...teeheehee...

The past weekend was extremely exciting for me. Although it was one of the busiest weekend of the month, it is undeniably one of the best *smiles*

I left uni in the evening in the RC van with my worship team members; was assigned to lead the cell group's worship. I really thank God for a very supportive group. Things didn't seem to turn out right somehow. During the practice, I suddenly couldn't catch the tune of some songs, and my drummer couldn't catch the beat of one praise song. It was SO disappointing and irritating. We had to calm down and really focus...not that we were not focused, but oh well, somehow there was something not very right about the entire 'feel' of that place. I felt very disturbed...*sigh* We even wanted to do away with 2 songs...thankfully we didn't.

On that particular Friday, my CG joined the rest of the church for the monthly prayer meeting, so there were more people than what we usually have in CG and it was kinda scary. Pastor was there & I haven't led worship for quite some time. It just felt a lil uncomfortable *shrugs* However, all went well in the end la.

KHup arrived from KL that night itself, so we met up for supper with aunty evelyn, uncle jeff and nichol. I didn't have my dinner then cos of the worship practice (every week, the worship team have to go to town to practice...), but I wasn't hungry already.It was nearly 11.30pm... WAY past dinner time. I was forced to eat nonetheless cos I didn't have lunch either & all of them were not too pleased to find out that I didn't have any proper meal throughout the day. I had ice-blended ipoh original coffee (not the best choice for an empty stomach...got a 'scolding' for the choice i made) and a piece of toast. Bleagh. It was difficult to swallow anything at 11.30pm. I'm more kken to either hit the bed or do something else besides eating.

Anyways, KHup & I had to rush through supper to catch a midnight movie...*yay!* "Ice Age 2"!! I wanted to watch that even before it's out! *rub hands with glee* He watched it once in KL d, but it was worth watching it another time, I guess.

The animation was highly entertaining! Each character was nicely developed and the humour was priceless. The entire cinema was rocking with laughter, even though it was past midnight. Gosh, this is my first time watching a midnight movie at the Kuantan cinema. Didn't know that there was life in the Kuantan cinema after midnight. Gahaha... I find the possums really funny... names were Crash and Victor. It was amazing to see how those 2 tiny fellas influence a gigantic mammoth to believe that she is a possum (or at least half a possum).

There's practically nothing else to do in Kuantan besides watching a midnight movie at that time, so we left for home after that... another day was waiting for us! Coolness... Saturday is D day for relaxing at the beach! Ah... after a superbly hectic week, a trip to the beach would be nice. This time around, we didn't wake up early for the sunrise...was too tired to do so...haha..